Blogging for HuffPost and Finding Love

Dear Brian,
How Do You Get In Touch With The Blog Team At The Huffington Post?

Besides blogteam@huffingtonpost.com. I’m a blogger who’s having account trouble but I’ve gotten no response to my emails sent to that account.

Which editor did you talk to when you originally had your account created? I would contact them.

If that’s somehow not an option, the Huffington Post masthead lists everyone who works for them, like any other media outlet. Here’s a link to their list: About Us

Huffington Post email addresses are typically first.lastname@huffingtonpost.com

You can also talk to most of their staff directly through HuffPost Live very easily.

That being said, have you considered maybe they don’t want to talk to you? I don’t know what type of account trouble you’re having, but perhaps you’ve been pestering them.

If it’s a technical support issue, they may not know the answer. Perhaps they’re simply too busy. There’s a wide variety of reasons they may not be responding, but if you try all of these very simple methods anyone could have easily googled, then I don’t know what to tell you. Sometimes it’s not meant to be. Move on.

Dear Brian,
Will he ever love me ? Will he ever open up or let me in ? Does a break up change the person completely?

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and I really love him. The thing is, he has some major relationship issues that i believe . His ex cheated on him  which has caused him to be very closed off.

At the beginning of the relationship, he was very aloof and while he would continue to make plans with me, he never really seemed that excited about the prospect of a new relationship with me. It was his first relationship.He told me when we were friends that he thought that they were going to be together forever. He whole heartily loved her with his whole being.She cheated on him. He loved her so much that  he was willing to try and work things out.

when we got into this relationship I became very curious about this girl. I was very upset to learn  that she is beautiful. I started suffering from severe feelings of inferiority.I feel like I can never compare to what this girl was to him..He has told me things like: “once bitten twice shy” when I bring up the fact of him being so cold. He has said he will never be that “dependent” on anyone ever again. Or that he doesn’t think I could ever “devastate” him… I recently found a photo of him and her looking dazed and love sick at each other,… He looked really really happy and in love…

I am wondering if he will ever love me that way. If he will ever look at me with such love sick eyes and such tender expressions on his face. Even in our photos, he doesn’t look like that. I don’t know how to get beyond this barrier of non-expression. All I want to do is ask “Is everything okay?” and to hear “No, it’s not okay, let me tell you…or I need you” I just want to be let in. A part of me feels like I am being foolish, selfish and not understanding of who he is and what he has been through.

I wish he was as affectionate as he used to be with her. Even my birthday doesn’t hold any significance in his life .but certain things i want to add Whenever we are together he cooks for me..he take care of me when i m sick. he always listens to me when i talk about friends, my problems.He understands me,he motivates me..but part of me still feels that he doesn’t love me..he is just being nice.
There’s a lot to unravel in this story, and I’ll do my best to address the important points I noticed. Feel free to correct me if I’m misunderstanding anything.

1) You were friends with this guy before you started dating, and, while you didn’t witness his previous relationship, he explained it to you.

2) Sounds like you’re both young, likely in your mid-late teens. This is only his second relationship, and I can’t tell if it’s your first or not, but it’s not likely you’ve been in more than a handful of relationships, and this could be your first meaningful relationship (a year is a long enough time to be comfortable being with someone and gain a sense of what a life with them can be like).

Now here’s the bad part…

I can’t tell you how this is going to end, but I can give you a few perspectives from my own life in an attempt to help ease your mind.

You comparing yourself to her is your own insecurities. He’s not with her anymore, and it doesn’t matter how much he wishes he were. He’s physically with you now in the real world. You won – everything else is hypothetical.

If he’s comparing you to her, he’s clearly decided you won, or he wouldn’t bother listening to you. Guys have trouble listening, especially to women. If it feels like he gets you, the two of you click, and that’s an important part of a relationship. That doesn’t mean you should hold on to him at all costs, that he’s your one and only soulmate, etc., but he’s definitely one of the good ones you’ll encounter in your life.

My only impression of this guy is from you, so it’s a bit tainted by the obvious bias. You are, after all, dating him, so he becomes a reflection of you. If I have a bad opinion of him, by proxy, a piece of you will take that as a criticism of you for choosing him. It’s not.

But at the same time, I don’t know Guy Johnson. I know Anon’s bf, Guy (I hope that makes sense, because it’s hard without names haha). Those are two very different ways to frame the same subject.

Guy could decide during his 20’s that he wants to branch out and explore other options. That’s what I did. I moved from my small town to the big city after high school and got inundated with so many new people, perspectives, and experiences that I left my HS GF behind.

My older brother also moved to the big city initially, but then he moved back home, married his gf, and started a family. They now have three kids, and the older 2 are in high school. I’m still single.

Though I also recently reconnected with some people I went to school with. One of those people is a girl I had a very big crush on as a kid. Reconnecting with her after getting out of jail earlier this year made for a nice ego boost at a time when I needed it.

You never really know how people are going to turn out.

As for whether or not you can affect how this guy grows, matures, and ages?

You will, but more through the way you act than any particular conversation.

I still remember my first three girlfriends. Though none of the relationships ended well, I still think back quite fondly on those people, and randomly throughout my life, I’ll finally learn a lesson I bet they were grinding just as hard as you are to teach me.

I never saw it as them trying to teach me, though. I took it as nagging, and when presented with the choice between sticking by the girl nagging me and taking my shot at a new girl I just met who seems supportive of me, I went for the new. I have improved in the ways they wanted, but through my own personal journey, not their repetition.

What I learned is that new girl eventually becomes a real person over time, just like the last one. The more time I spent with them, the more I got to know their every movement, function, and flaw. My pursuit of an ideal relationship like the ones I saw in all those romantic comedies (I’m a huge fan of romcoms and have seen every episode of Sex and the City) currently has me 34 and single, with no kids that I know of.

If you continue down the road you’re on of trying to find that ideal, you and your 15 cats will be right here with me…

I hope that answers your question.

Brian Penny Versability Whistleblower MaskBrian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. His work has appeared in High Times, Huffington Post, Fast Company, The Street, Lifehack, and your mom.

Versability

Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer.

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