Every day I keep an eye on what search terms hit my blog so I understand what type of information my readers are looking for. Today I happened upon an interesting search string:
Having never written about the RAV4 (or cars in general, outside of my experiences living in my own), I’m not entirely sure why my site shows up for this particular search. However, it’d be impossible to read such a thing without wondering what car commercial I’ve been missing.
So, I immediately looked up “RAV4 commercial wolves” on Google, to find this gem of a commercial for the Toyota RAV4 hybrid featuring James Marsden:
In the above commercial, James Marsden is out exploring the frozen wilderness in his RAV4 when, as the narrator points out, his jerky attracts a hungry wolf pack behind him.
Soon, Marsden is hunting with the pack and helping them expand their territory by driving them around in his RAV4 (which is roomy enough to fit the whole pack!)
Marsden forms a bond with a wolf named Akaylia, a female name of hipster origin with a lot of meanings around positivity, happiness, and domestication.
It’s not long before Marsden starts banging Akalia and takes over the role of den mother.
After having a few cubs in his unholy relationship with the wolf, Marsden begins nursing the cubs at the :20 second mark, though his nipples are clearly covered, and the nursing clearly happens off-camera…
And, after impregnating the wolf and forcing his werewolf children to suck the sperm out of his penis, Marsden sneaks away in search of his next adventure.
Akaylia is shown to be visibly upset, and her family chases after the deadbeat dad…
The commercial ends with the slogan for this clearly intentional beastiality from Toyota: How Far Will You Take It?
So to answer the original query, yes…James Marsden is clearly getting a blowjob from the wolf cubs. He’s clearly feeding them his penis and nursing them with the protein from his sperm. I have no idea why other sites are afraid to point out what they know they saw. There’s no guesswork involved – this is a very cohesive plot that’s quite simple to follow.
The problem I have now is not so much why this query pointed someone in the direction of my website in the first place, but why in the world was the blowjob the only part of this commercial that raised any concerns?
Also, where is this commercial airing? I don’t have cable nor watch Hulu specifically to avoid commercials, but it’s labeled 2016, so it’s obviously new.
Just when I thought Cyclops couldn’t possibly get any lamer, Toyota found a way. So congrats, Toyota, for purposely creating easily the most offensive commercial I’ve seen in a long time.
And thank you, Google, for recognizing this is indeed a query I’m equipped to answer, because nobody knows more about taking things too far than I.
Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned Whistleblower, Troll, and Freelance Writer. His work has appeared in High Times, Huffington Post, Hardcore Droid, The Street, and Fast Company.