Don’t Waste Money on Freelance Writing “Teachers”

I regularly submit applications for freelance writing gigs because you never know when you’re going to need a little side cash to help fund my endeavors.

It’s a typically boring process that I’ve mostly automated and rarely pay attention to because I don’t really have to unless someone either bites or needs to be trolled. That’s how I met Gabi Logan, a travel writer who’s been in the game as long as I have and has already failed and given up to the point of trying to sell some bullshit self-help book to help you replicate her fake success.

gabi-logans

Now normally I don’t pay much attention to the snake-oil salesmen in the self-help industry, but Gabi was a particularly condescending little cunt when our paths crossed, so I do feel the need to use her to illustrate why you shouldn’t ever listen to these types of frauds.

Gabi tried talking shit about my income, attempted to mock my methodology, and continued peddling her bullshit system of earning the fake 6 figures she brags about. I can assure you Gabi isn’t making $100,000 a year writing, and I’ll happily point out the obvious evidence. The reason I’m doing this is because in addition to her retarded book, this mouthy little cunt also runs Dream of Travel Writing, another ridiculous website peddling her snake oil.

travel-writing

Before you drop any money on these scams, let me show you behind the curtains of the illusion these shysters are trying to hide behind.

The Death of Physical Publishing

Despite the proliferation of content mills online these days, I make about $.25/word on average for my work. It’s a healthy average and respectable for a blogger of my tenure, but Gabi laughed at this and stated it’s at the bare minimum of what she recommends people write for. And this statement not only shows her complete ignorance of reality but also alludes to the outright lie of her income

This bitch lives in such an ivory tower, she doesn’t realize how many of you are working on projects for $10-$30 per page. I know this work is being done, because I’ve seen those trenches. Gabi likely has family money and either mommy and daddy or whatever troll lets this Golum-looking bitch touch his dick pays for her living expenses, but she’s certainly not earning that money as a travel writer, even with the photos added on.

A typical print publication will pay more than your average website, but you’re also able to published much less often. For example, following Gabi’s shitty advice, you’re limiting your pitches to maybe 20 or so travel publications. Even if you successfully get an article pitched at each one, you’re maxing out at 200 articles per year. So long as each publication pays at least $500 and accepts a pitch every month from Gabi, it’s possible she earns that $100,000/year she advertises.

Now a magazine will pay much more than $500 for a featured article. It’s going to be more along the lines of $1500-$3000, and in this case, you only need to publish 35-66 articles per year to make $100,000, and of course Gabi isn’t doing that either. This bitch has barely published a grand total of 30 articles in the entire span of her six-year career. When she says she makes a six-figure income, she doesn’t mean she has a career that makes her $100k/year. She means she’s made $100k as a grand total for her entire career.

But that’s not the only problem this bitch is having – she’s also focusing all her energy on writing for printed magazines that don’t leave any lasting impression or help her achieve any kind of residual income. She’s supposedly an MIT graduate who knows web development, but this bitch’s websites are pathetic and have no readership.

In fact, I can show proof of that as well.

Incompetent SEO Advice

Gabi and her kind eventually reach a point where they realize they’re stuck. This bitch created a dumb cycle in which she has to keep traveling in order to write and pitch stories in the narrow niche she created, and now she has to live up to the impossible lifestyle she’s selling. She realizes her income is tied to her ability to continue pitching and so she’s now trying to pull an Herbalife scam and make more money by charging people to join her than by doing the actual thing she’s trying to do.

Instead of selling dreams to travel writers, Gabi’s book should really be about her dreams of being paid to do nothing except schill out generic garbage advice you could get on Lifehack from a writer who only got paid $15-$30 to write the article.

Gabi’s website is worthless, and the traffic tells that tale. Here’s how the value of both her websites compare to this one:

traffic-comparison

So this bitch is running websites that are ranked 4.5 million and 8.5 million, whereas mine is ranked at 594,000. My traffic is valued at $2,000, whereas hers totals $4. This bitch is trying to lecture not only me but make a business lecturing people on how to make six figures using her web development skills as a reference but she has literally nothing. This travel writing thing is just a facade she created – she has no idea how to make 6 figures because she doesn’t understand affiliate or any other residual revenue models. She doesn’t know shit about business operations. What a phony.

Now what’s even more infuriating than Gabi’s lies and complete incompetence is that she’s also disrespecting an industry she’s attempting to profit from. Not only was this bitch on Twitter attacking Noemi and one of the best freelance writing job boards on the Internet:

gabi-travels-tweet

But she’s also so full of shit she doesn’t realize she’s not paying the writer she’s looking to hire (which is what I applied for when I met Logan) anywhere near what she brags she teaches her seminar attendees and book buyers to ask for. This bitch doesn’t even practice what she preaches, and that elevates her beyond the typical condescending, egotistical, fraudsters out there peddling bullshit they know nothing about. It also makes her a hypocrite.

And that’s why you need to be careful trusting people who are teaching you to do something they don’t have any experience doing themselves. This bitch knows nothing about being a writer and is rude and condescending on top of it. Nobody needs your permission to link to things online, Gabi. You’re never going to survive if you don’t stop acting like you know everything and start actually learning something.

And next time you mention me, you better put some respek on da name, biiiaaatch…

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Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer.

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