1. Retired Military Specialist
A brilliantly filmed parody of Rambo, this skit recreates the moment when a military officer approaches his retired friend Decker for a recommendation. Decker thinks he’s being asked to come out of retirement, and makes everything awkward by offering to take on a mission.
Everything about this skit is on point, and starts becoming more and more hilarious the instant you realize the general is hoping for a recommendation. The general can’t get it through his skull, passing his every test, including grabbing his hand and slapping him to show his reflexes are too slow.
As Key & Peele does, this skit continues down the path, with Decker unable to disarm the general, then pushing him further into shooting him multiple times. After being shot in the gut, Decker continues faking how tough he is until finally taunting the general into a headshot, which he gladly obliges.
Two friends are moving, and one decides to play some music. He explains he’s about to play dubstep and says to wait for the drop. When the dubstep drop hits, the camera and everyone starts going crazy like on a crazy mix of drugs.
Soon things are being thrown around everywhere, as the two men trash the apartment, until their noses start bleeding. Key stops the music, and Peele mocks him for being old and offers to play some Color Me Badd. Soon, the dubstep is back on, and things are getting more and more intense.
By the end, Key jumps out the window after an intense bout of self mutilation mixed with footage of sharks and other craziness.
3. Hall of Mirrors
A detective is tracking a sadistic serial killer through a hall of mirrors. Calmly navigating through the hall, the detective continues searching as Carlo continues taunting him through the mirrors. Soon the detective is getting unnerved as laughter echoes through the hall.
As the scene continues, the detective walks into a room full of mirrored Carlo’s. As he walks past the real Carlo, he flinches, which makes the detective stop and start grilling him. Carlo continues taunting him, except whenever the gun is pointed at him, he continues flinching.
Getting tired of games, the detective cocks the gun and shoots Carlo in the leg. Carlo pretends a mirror shattered as he collapses to the ground. Finally, he concedes to explaining where the missing girl is if the detective pretends not to know if he’s real or a reflection in the mirror.
4. Morning Radio Show
From the fifth season, Key & Peele play morning radio show disk jockeys who have high energy. The rapport between the two and their female colleague is amazing, and the crew is all smiles while talking about all of the morning’s top news stories. Then the commercial break hits.
Each of the hosts pulls out their side hobbies and sits silently ignoring everyone else in the room. This meditative state is the real norm between everyone, and no small talk occurs. Once the commercial is up, the trio get back to the morning show routine.
5. Auction Block
In Savannah, GA in the 1800’s, two slaves climb up on the auction block and begin talking under their breath about how messed up the situation is. When the slave on lot A is sold to a plantation owner, the two discuss how they’re glad they weren’t picked. The lot A is then occupied by a rather large man.
The bids on the large man are huge, and the two men start justifying it. Next, a smaller man enters the first block, and he’s bid on as well. Soon the two men’s chatter starts focusing on how they’d like to be on lot A. More and more smaller guys end up being bid on first, and the two men get upset and begin arguing.
The auction owner calls the two slaves superficial and bigoted. The two men start trying to sell themselves by explaining their skills as everyone leaves. Continuing to oversell themselves, the slaves appear to be free because no one wants them, and it offends them.
6. Substitute Teacher
In a flipped version of Dangerous Minds, Mr. Garvey, an inner-city teacher introduces himself to the rural white kids as a tough man before beginning to take role. First up is Jacqueline, whose name he pronounces Jaykwellin. A cookie-cutter blonde girl shyly raises her hand and gets a stern warning.
Next up is Blake, whose name is pronounced biLakay. A timid white kid introduces himself as Blake and Mr. Garvey explains he’s for real, so Blake better check himself. Next is DeeNice, and Mr. Garvey explains if anyone says a silly name, he’s going to lose it, forcing Denise to say her name is DeeNice
When he calls A-A-Ron, a kid tries to correct him that his name is pronounced Aaron. Mr. Garvey kicks Aaron out the class and continues calling role. Next up is T-Mothy, a black kid who immediately leans from behind the kid he was hiding behind and says present, finally satisfying the teacher.
7. White Zombies
Key and Peele have survived several zombie attacks. In this particular one, they start off with Kevin Sorbo, who’s immediately killed by zombies. The two run and hide behind a car to assess their situation. Deciding they need to make it to the sherriff’s station, and realizing how many zombies there are.
They decide to move through them and start dodging them. Soon they realize the zombies are dodging them. Something is up. It’s when they walk by a burned down car filled with old zombies, the zombie locks the door, which pisses them off as they realize the zombies are racist.
After two zombie parents won’t allow their zombie kid to bite the men, they’re about to blow when a friend comes and invites them to a barbecue. With all the racist zombies leaving black people alone, they don’t have to work anymore and are partying it up.
8. Gay Marriage Legalized
Now that the U.S. legalized gay marriage all across the country, this skit gets more and more relevant. A gay couple is interviewed at a gay pride rally. Samuel is clearly conservative and unsure about the idea of marriage, but his boyfriend LaShawn is excited about the idea.
After three years, LaShawn is clearly the bottom and wants to be the bride. Sam explains the hidden costs and that it’s just a piece of paper, but LaShawn wants to rent the moon for their marriage.
Stuff gets overturned, so Samuel isn’t as excited. He really didn’t think it was going to pass. Meanwhile LaShawn is happy about all their future kids and pets and pets of pets. As the celebration continues, Samuel leaves.
9. Medical Marijuana Prescription
When a man visits the doctor for a marijuana prescription, he thinks it’s going to be easy but makes it difficult by coming up with the wrong fake diseases. Ranging from aids to a missing arm, everything the man tries is obviously a fake disease that can be disproven.
Soon upset at the man’s lack of understanding, the doctor slaps the patient, asks him if his face hurts, and prescribes him marijuana for it.
10. Dungeons & Dragons & Bitches
When Tyrell shows up to his cousin’s D&D game, he decides he wants to be Kanye the Giant. Clearly a thug surrounded by nerds, the giant named Kanye begins his adventure in the Inn at Isseldoor to find bitches. One of the nerds decides to join Kanye.
Kanye orders Alize, but the barkeep has never heard of it as it doesn’t exist in the world. Kanye decides to slap the bartender, who’s half hobbit and nimble. He rolls a 20 and easily slaps the hobbit’s dick off, and the cleric grabs the money from the register.
Soon everyone in the game is involved in robbing the tavern. Tyrell asks where the bitches are at and grabs them and leaves in his SUV, exciting the nerds with the adventure. Soon the dungeonmaster gets upset and leaves, so Tyrell takes over and alters the adventure further.
11. Alien Imposters
An alien invasion has ravaged the earth and Key & Peele are among the last survivors in a post apocalyptic world. They soon come across a man who says they started a community of survivors and invites them to live with them. Peele shoots and kills him, and he turns out to be an alien impostor. When asked how he knew, he explains a redneck wanting black men in their community isn’t real.
Soon they come across an old white man who agrees to let them date his daughter. They shoot and kill the alien impostor, but a blonde girl named Emily shows up and admits loving Jay-Z. They allow her to come with them to find more aliens like a black man who says he enjoyed an album by The Police.
After allowing a racist old white man to live because of his fear of them, the trio continues on their journey. A rich white guy tosses them keys to his Lexus, so Key shoots him in the head, to which he and Peele nod. The girl asks if he was an alien, and they say yes.
12. Terrible Henchman
A man is being held hostage in a warehouse by a man named Dravitch and his henchmen Daquan. Left alone to interrogate the prisoner, Dravitch has an accent and is quite calm. Soon the noisy door opens, interrupting Dravitch as the henchman peaks in. After a few times, he gets upset and goes to question the henchman.
Daquan wants to be his torturing assistant, so he allows the henchman in the room, but the distractions just amplify as Daquan interrupts with clarifications, eating loud food, and suggesting ways to torture the prisoner Jack. The mood is continuously killed by Daquan, who was referred by Shaquan, who was kicked into some lava.
Dravitch explains he needs him to be still like a statue, but he can’t talk to the prisoner, because the henchman is standing like an actual statue. Eventually he decides to allow Daquan to join Jack in the torture experience.
13. Al Queda Meeting
Meeting in the caves of Afghanistan, Al Qaeda leaders convened a meeting to discuss why they’ve been unable to steal more planes and create terror. It’s learned the reason is because the TSA is constantly stopping them, with stories of men only being able to bring on 4-inch blades, when 5-inches are necessary.
With 3.5 ounces of liquid, the damage could be incalculable, but they’re limited to 3.4 ounces. It’s almost as if the leaders of Al Qaeda have been living in a cave not to know how elite anti-terrorist the wily TSA is. Finally a plan is launched to put a bomb in a laptop to detonate once you pull it from its case, except the TSA already checks for this.
With all their plans ruined, Al Qaeda is truly upset about the failure. The smallest bomb possible can only fit in a full tube of toothpaste, which isn’t allowed on the airplane, so, without a travel sized bomb available, they’re thwarted.
14. Les Mis
Key and Peele excel at not only comedy, but also music and video production. Les Miserables is a skit about the movie and play of the same name. The singing is on point, and the operatic tone of the entire skit is fantastically entertaining.
Similar to any Broadway musical, the tunes are somewhat catchy, but the laughs start seeping in early. The general is trying to talk and sing-complaining about the entire idea of singing and how people need to talk one at a time. Soon the whole village is involved, and the general just wants everyone to speak one at a time.
As the song builds toward a climax, everyone’s singing more and more dramatically, but once the song is over, everyone just freezes. The general questions why there’s so much smoke in the city, but nobody can answer why they’re in a musical skit, so he walks off.
15. Proud Thug
Key and Peele have hilarious Mexican characters. When sitting down for a meeting, the gang ends up one chair short, so Carlito decides to lean up against the table. When the gang gets him a chair, Carlito is too proud and sticks by his decision to lean on the table. He explains he’s too thug for chairs.
The men try to continue with the meeting, but they can’t understand why Carlito would limit himself by not sitting in chairs. This upsets Carlito, who soon falls as the table collapses. Carlito is stubborn and tells them to go on with their meeting as he’s good where he’s at. As they discuss drugs and crime, they notice Carlito has a table leg sticking in his back and he’s bleeding to death.
Soon Carlito dies in front of the gang, and they try to revive him. His ghost appears behind them, but he explains life is for pussies and he’s fine on the spirit plain. When the light of heaven appears, Carlito refuses as heaven is for pussies.
16. Soul Food
Like Dueling Hats, Soul Food focuses on the strange competitiveness among men, black men in particular. Two well-off black men are visiting a soul food diner and reminiscing. Soon both of them start competing over who can order the most black food.
The soul food starts off good, with grits, chitlins, and the like. Soon there are ham hocks and pig feet being ordered, along with a dixie cup of lard, and a bowl of mosquitos, donkey teeth, a bucket of fish covered in razor wire, and a human foot.
Soon the men end up with the most disgusting meals. They do their best to choke it down while staring each other down. They’re covered with gravy and hot sauce, but still clearly disgusting meals.
17. Video Game Sensors
Craig’s friends are helping him get over his recent breakup with Sheila by checkout out his new video game that uses sensor controls. Soon he gets upset and goes into his room, and his friends watch the video game avatar act out what’s happening in the room.
They watch him curl into a ball and cry, but he plays it off, so they pretend they didn’t notice. Soon Craig sees a picture of Sheila and returns to the room again with the sensors on. They now watch him dancing with the photo and appearing to kiss it. Soon he’s sitting down on the bed and furiously masturbating.
The video game character is furiously masturbating in midair as all Craig’s friends watch. Soon they see him reach down toward his foot, and when he returns to the living room, he’s missing a sock he presumably finished in. He offers snacks and is asked to wash his hands first.
18. Sexy Vampires
From Underworld to Twilight and True Blood, vampires are always portrayed as overly dramatic sexy beasts. Jordan Peele does a fantastic vampire impression, with the Nosferatu timing, sing-songy speech, and constant gyrating.
Bringing in the new blood for dinner, brother Tyrell shows up in what he got bit in. Your typical thug, Tyrell only has what’s in his closet, which drains the energy from the room temporarily until the vampires pick back up into an orgy of hissing and licking. Tyrell is unimpressed and tells them to feast instead of being all dramatic.
Soon Tyrell is yelling at everyone for being all sexual, gratuitous, and weird. He got bit in order to live forever and see future cars, not all this. All the vampires are on Tyrell’s side and turn on the main vampire, who discovers it was all a front.
In the next scene, the vampires are normal people, living in an apartment and having a normal house party. The main vampire is upset and overly dramatic about how things changed.
19. Continental Breakfast
When a man finds out his hotel stay includes a free continental breakfast from 6 to 10 am, he’s immediately impressed. He shows up at the buffet and treats it as a fancy restaurant, loading up on a styrofoam bowl filled with Cheerios, a plum, a blueberry mini-muffin, and a fork/spoon mixture engineered in Germany.
Excited about breakfast, he eats the pit of a donut from Turkey. Next is a danish from Brussels, yogurt from Greece, a banana from Spain, and more. He’s having an orgasmic time about being incontinent during the continental breakfast.
After a breakfast so good he breaks down and cries, the man returns to the check-in lobby and explains he’ll be staying indefinitely. The front lobby clerk informs him he’s always been here and points out the continental breakfast. The sketch quickly devolves into a parody of The Shining.
20. East/West College Bowl
Anyone who’s ever seen a bowl game or draft knows the hilarity of watching sport commentators pronounce the crazy athlete names. K&P’s East West sketch simply goes down a list of athletes played by both actors with progressively hard to pronounce names.
D’Jasper Probincrux III, LJavaris Jamar Javarison Jamar, and L’Carpetron Dookmarriott are among representatives of the East. The West is represented by such stars as Saggitariutt Jefferspin, Quatro Quatro, X-Wing @Alliciousness, and Eeee Eeeeee.
At the end of everyone is a white man named Dan Smith from BYU that seals the hilarity of this sketch in. It’s an instant classic with a variety of sequels.
Brian Penny is a former business analyst and operations manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. His work has appeared on Huffington Post, Fast Company, BBC, Hardcore Droid, and Cannabis Now.