Monster Clicker RPG

Monster Clicker RPG (thumb)

With their turn-based decision-making and menu-driven gameplay, old school RPGs adapt particularly well to mobile. As a result, the Android platform already has its fair share of gems, and with RPG Maker producer Enterbrain partnering with Degica to offer users android capabilities, an already-crowded field is set to become even more so.

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Which is why it feels so strange—even a little anachronistic—to come across such a half-hearted, slap-dash, take-the-money-and-run F2P effort as Monster Clicker RPG. What is this, 2011?

The hook here is simple: there are monsters, and you click on them (or “tap”, in the parlance of our day). That’s it. No swiping, no dodging, none of that finicky spell-casting or strategy — just tap the screen over and over to whittle the monster down before it does the same to you. Kill the monster, and you’ll gain experience or gold or whatever, which you can spend to make your screen-taps more powerful. Which you’ll need, because the monsters gradually get more powerful, and they have more HP, and they do more damage.

(And hey, if you’d like to level up just a little bit faster, lucky for you, there’s this real-money roulette system, see…)


Exploitation is fun!

It’s a fiendishly clever premise which strips away the fluff to get at the cynical core of what a mobile game really is: banging at a glow-box to while away the endless awful moments between here and the end of life.

Is there a reason for all this monster-clicking? It’s hard to say. The intro cinematic, which plays its cards close to the vest, consists only of three pieces of concept art overlaid with cryptic Korean and epic orchestral music “produced by European composers!” or so boasts the game’s Play Store description. That description also offers the following esoterica:


One day of peaceful Kais kingdom in B.C. 17th century…
The evil invaded Kais kingom
[sic] and dominated the world.
Although many heroes resisted the evil for a number of centuries;
The results were always the evil’s victory.
Now, a new hero comes on.
The hero is…. The hero is right you!

Riveting stuff.

But honestly now: does one need a reason to click monsters? Or really, to click anything at all? The quality of the art here is about what you’d expect—still sprites of woodland critters and feather-boobed succubi straight out of a canned JRPG resource-kit—but it smacks of sprinkling glitter and confetti on a crack-vial to increase the appeal. Let’s cut the crap, Monster Clicker RPG; we all know why we’re here.

Monster Click RPG (combat)

Sweet, sweet numbers

Once, I thought that to be an RPG, an element of “role-play” or “game” was required. Truly, the scales have lifted from my eyes. It turns out that when you strip away the pretense, the pomp and circumstance, the preening and posturing and carefully-crafted narrative, all an RPG really needs to vroom-vroom-go is lots of numbers that make SCHWING noises when you smack them together. You don’t need choice. You don’t need strategy. You definitely don’t need any interactivity. All you need is a great, big glowing button to lift your hoof and stamp on. Do that enough times, and maybe we’ll give you a yummy pellet.

Or maybe you’ll give us a dollar.

All snark aside, this is a godawful game and I cannot recommend against it strongly enough. Do you remember when the Wii first came out, and all your friends and family were obsessed with Wii Tennis, and it made you feel like a crazy person because you knew that the game was lying, and the things it was graphically depicting didn’t actually matter?

Monster Clicker RPG is like that. The gameplay is monotonous, the sound effects grate, and the localization is downright lazy. Also, I seriously question the device-safety of jackhammering your touch-screen over and over.

If you’re desperate to approximate the experience, though, here’s a home recipe with half the calories:

  • Burn a $1 bill
  • Cue up an Inuyasha AMV
  • Mute the audio
  • Smack your fingers against the screen until your wrists go numb
  • Forsake all dignity and consign yourself to the void


The post Monster Clicker RPG appeared first on Hardcore Droid.

Source: Hardcore Droid

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