After seeing the Ball Fondlers movie, Morty and Summer are amazed at finding an alternate reality where a Ball Fondlers movie franchise exists and PG-13 is a much different rating.
When Morty expresses jealousy, Rick explains a few fun facts about this universe’s flaws, such as giant telepathic spiders and eleven 9/11’s, though it does have the best ice cream.
They’re about to fly off to the ice cream shop when the car won’t start. Morty suggests it may be the quantum carburetor, to which Rick responds,
“Quantum carburetor? Jesus, Morty, you can’t just add a sci-fi word to a car word and hope it means something.”
Turns out the problem is with the microverse battery, so they’re gonna have to go inside, leaving Summer in the spaceship to ignore any thoughts that feel…spidery.
Summer protests, so Rick sets the car alarm, telling the ship to keep Summer safe. The car confirms it’ll keep Summer safe.
As Summer kicks up her feet and begins playing on her cell phone, a man approaches the ship to ask a question.
When Summer goes out of her way to ignore the man, he quickly gets angry. As he bangs on the window, a metal arm extends from the spaceship and seemingly scans the man, though in actuality, he was cubed a la Resident Evil.
Summer screams, the car repeats, “Keep Summer safe,” and another man approaches, yelling about how the man that was just murdered was his daughter’s pediatrician.
Doc Oc arms extend from the spaceship and pick the second man up. Summer begs the car not to kill him, so, like a T800 Terminator, the ship disables the man, severing his spine with a laser and dropping him.
As the man screams in agony, the ship declares Summer safe. She’s crying hysterically and breaking down, replying, “I don’t feel safe.”
In response, the spaceship reclines her seat back. Soon the disabled man is banging on the window, begging for help.
Before the credits roll, it’s clear we’re about to be taken on another wild sci-fi ride.
Eight seconds later, Rick and Morty materialize inside the microverse battery.
Quotable Quote: Rick “Morty, remember 8 seconds ago when you said ‘Go inside what?’ and I said, ‘The battery,’ and then we showed up here, and I wasn’t like, ‘Whoah, this is unexpected – this is not what I was expecting, Morty. What a perplexing mystery this is.”
Inside the battery, something’s not right. The pipeline is supposed to be sending 20 terawatts of juice into the engine. It’s time for some hands-on engine repair, so Rick shoots out the volcano, and Morty realizes he’s on an entire planet.
Rick explains he put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life.
He then introduced the wonders of electricity, which they now generate on a global scale using gooble boxes, and, you know, some of it goes to run Rick’s engine and charge his phone and stuff.
Morty protests that having an entire planet create energy for you is slavery. When Rick retorts that it’s society – they work for each other. They pay each other, buy houses, make children who replace them when they die to make more energy.
When Morty calls that slavery with extra steps, Rick notes Morty will likely get laid in college because of his extra-liberal stance.
By this point the media is aware of Rick’s return, and a newscaster ponders what Rick will say when he hears the good news.
Morty pleads with Rick to tell these people they’re in a battery because it’s messed up to hide the truth from them. They’re setting up chafing dishes.
Rick tells Morty to relax because they’re doing nothing dishonest, except for the alien antenna.
Quotable Quote: Rick, “Obviously you really know nothing about car repair.”
As the slow ramp extends down and a band plays, Rick starts flipping off everyone as a greeting. He tells Morty he taught them that means “Peace among worlds.” How hilarious is that?
After a bright-eyed little girl holds up two middle fingers, Morty obliges.
Rick asks the President why they can’t generate power, and he says their top scientist, Zeep Zanflorp (Stephen Colbert) developed a new source of energy to make gooble boxes obsolete.
Rick wants to see it, and the President responds, “much obliged” in Rick’s language, and after an initial misunderstanding, Rick apologizes.
Bringing Rick and Morty into Zeep’s lab, the scientist is on the phone correcting an order for quantum stabilizer. When introduced to Rick the Alien, it doesn’t ring familiar to Zeep.
Rick explodes about how he jumpstarted their civilization and they have a holiday called Ricksgiving he should’ve learned about in school. Zeep replies school isn’t necessary for smart people, and Rick gets further upset.
The President suggests Zeep show them them his project.
Zeep reveals an infinite universe capable of producing massive amounts of power. He calls it a miniverse. Rick asks for a tour from the inside, and Zeep says this isn’t a chocolate factory and he doesn’t have time.
When the President mentions time moves more slowly in the miniverse in comparison to the real world, Zeep concedes to providing a tour.
Zeep put an unbound vacuum inside a temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life. He introduced them to the wonders of electricity through a device he calls the flooblecrank.
What they don’t know is 80% of the energy output is siphoned to Zeep’s universe. Rick is now playing Morty’s part and mentioning the ethical dilemmas inherent in this setup.
Zeep tries to explain it, but Rick calls it slavery with extra steps. Zeep mentions Rick will get laid in college.
Morty tries to point out the hypocrisy, and that makes Rick realize this microverse must have a scientist just like Zeep who created microverse technology and finding him will convince Zeep of how hypocritical he is so they can get back to using him for ice cream.
Zeep convinced the people of this new miniverse that he’s an alien from another wold, and Rick notices his ramp goes down too fast.
Back home, the police are now coming toward Summer and the parked spaceship, which is ready to keep Summer safe by any means necessary.
Summer orders the ship not to hurt anyone, so it confirms it won’t use physical force to keep her safe. As the police surround the vehicle, it scans assailants, detecting a psychological option in a news story of one officer’s son drowning.
Soon the ship begins gestating and a canister is released containing Hunter, the officer’s dead 7-year-old son. He keeps calling for his daddy who calls a cease fire and breaks down crying and hugging his son. Hunter tells daddy to leave the car alone before melting.
The ship announces all of the officers have loved ones that can be returned and taken away, warning them to keep away from the vehicle.
Keep Summer Safe.
Back in the miniverse, Rick asks the President if anyone’s working on a universe in a box to find out it’s a top-secret project. Zeep holds up a peace sign and explains to Morty he convinced these people it means “Peace among worlds.”
Satisfied, Rick brings Zeep’s fake President of his fake world to show him something.
We’re taken to another teenyverse, where a scientist is explaining he’s about to make contact with a sentient being and introduce them to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device called a gloobleyank.
Zeep explains to the scientist, Kyle, that what he’s doing is wrong. He’s creating a planet of slaves with extra steps. Soon Zeep realizes his universe is a microverse created by Rick and attacks him.
Soon Rick and Zeep are fighting and Morty is explaining crazy scientists to Kyle, who suddenly gets it and can’t handle the epiphanies. He jumps in his ship and crashes it into a cliff, killing himself.
Seeing Kyle’s wreckage, both Rick and Zeep mock his usage of teenyverse instead of microverse or miniverse.
Next Rick, Morty, and Zeep are in cave workshops trying to get out of the teenyverse, miniverse, and microverse to the multiverse. Zeep finds out his purpose is to run Rick’s car, but there’s always triple A.
Zeep crafts a wrist catapult and launches a rock at Rick who responds by shooting a homebrew crossbow back at him.
Rick and Zeepcontinue yelling until Morty leaves to make a new life for himself among the tree people. Rick explains the tree people will eventually eat him and that it’s a prehistoric society that needs culture.
Quotable Quote: Rick “And it certainly can’t be someone whose entire culture powers my brake lights.”
Back in the spaceship, Summer’s police situation is escalating. She asks the ship for help, which it’s quite able to do, but Summer won’t authorize.
The ship is also upset it can’t use emotional countermeasures like the melting ghost babies. It starts constructing an acceptable solution, but tells Summer she’s not making this easy, and, like, it’s job isn’t, like, to help Summer’s general vibe and stuff.
Rick and Zeep built robot suits and are hunting in the woods, still fighting each other.
Zeep hopes Rick’s god is as big a dick as he is, and Rick retorts he’s the biggest dick that’s never existed, and that’s why he’s here. He then releases a snake from his leg holster, and Zeep responds with a falcon and that he’s here because he created someone smarter than he is.
Both men are then surrounded by tree people, one of which turns out to be Morty, whom Rick hasn’t seen in months.
Morty brings them into the forest to see Koo Alla, the spirit tree. As soon as the tree people stop paying attention, Morty breaks character and begs Rick to get them the f*ck out of here.
The people are backward savages that eat every third baby because they think it makes fruit grow bigger. Everyone’s gross and he masturbated into a piece of driftwood.
Summer’s given 10 seconds to exit the vehicle.
Zeep compliments Rick on being a good protorecombinator, and Rick has seen worse pysionic cell oxidization. Rick is an alcoholic, and Zeep is an opium addict, and as they’re laughing about finishing the project, Morty activates it and tells the savages how terrible they are before they disappear.
Back in the miniverse, Zeep tries escaping through the elevator, and Rick realizes he’s willing to do anything to escape first and defeat them.
Morty hopes on Rick’s back, and he activates his ski shoes, beating Zeep to the spaceship. They all exit the miniverse together, fighting. Rick destroys Zeep’s miniverse, then tells the receptionist his existence is a lie.
This prompts the nerdy receptionist to hit on a woman, who immediately shoots him down.
As Rick and Morty race to leave the microverse, Zeep shows up in a ship to remind them that while Rick created this universe, he lives in it.
Rick explains to Morty he injected him with nanobots that can restructure his anatomy and turn him into a car.
As Morty is concentrating, Rick finds a taxi and tells him not to worry Rick distracts Zeep, who crashed into a Ricksgiving float.
As the police reach 5, spiders show up, and Summer finds out the spaceship brokered a peace agreement between humans and spiders.
The President declares killing a person and paralyzing his buddy is nothing compared to brokering peace with the spiders and pardons the space car.
Summer is safe.
Morty and Rick climb the ramp, but Zeep calls his name out. As it rains, Morty tells him not to do it, and Rick replies, “you quit school, but you still got some learning to do.”
Rick punches Zeep, who falls to the ground and pulls Rick down. Soon they’re punching and kicking each other every which way. Rick finally picks up a rock and hits Zeep, knocking him out and spitting on him.
Returning to the car, Rick starts it up. The battery works because Zeep knew once Rick got back to his car, one of two things would happen. He’d either toss a broken battery or it would work.
Zeep looks to the sky and wishes Rick peace among worlds.
Turns out Morty was right and they just needed to be honest with those people. Finally eating ice cream, Rick finds flies in his ice cream, and he and Summer immediate start arguing over whose fault it is.
After the credits, Morty is falling asleep in Mr. Goldenfold’s classroom when he accidentally transforms into a car, killing many of his classmates.
Brian Penny is a former business analyst and operations manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. His work has appeared in Fast Company, The Street, Huffington Post, Hardcore Droid, and High Times.