5 Reasons Minimalism and Polyamory Don’t Mix If you're a minimalist, complicated relationships are a bad way to go.

When you think of minimalism, do you picture some free-wheeling life where you get to do whatever you want?

You’re wrong – minimalism is a concept of simplifying your life, and a lot of bad decisions come with overcomplications. Take polyamory for example. Couples who try polyamory already know it’s not the idealistic paradise they imagined. Like any dream, the reality isn’t what you think. Minimalism and polyamory are polar opposites of each other.

The more people you bring into a relationship, the more complicated it gets. If you want a truly simple life, you need to cut all the unnecessary melodrama out. Check out these 5 reasons polyamory and minimalism don’t mix.

1. Relationships Are a Commitment

Relationships, even polyamorous ones, require a commitment. If the idea of multiple men or women appeals to you on an animalistic level, try to keep in mind they’re people too. That means they have feelings, wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. When you commit yourself to someone, you take good with the bad.

Bringing one person into your life is already a challenge. You only have so many waking hours and need to make them feel special. As you continue adding people, you quickly find out that your love and commitment aren’t as scalable as you imagined.

2. Polyamory Isn’t What You’d Expect

People jump into polyamory focused entirely on the silver linings. You get the security of a relationship and the thrill of exploring the world as a single. Extra love, sex, and romance do happen with polyamory, but there are always strings attached.

Sharing sex and love also means you share jealously, melodrama, competitiveness, narcissim, and all the other downsides of a relationship. The divorce rate in the United States has historically hovered between 40% and 50%. You’re only increasing the likelihood of irreconcilable differences with polyamory, in fact, don’t forget polygamy.

3. The Paper Trail of Polygamy

If you think relationships and dating are already complicated labels, wait till you give into polyamory. Inevitably, some people want a relationship to go further, and polygamy is when you find yourself married to multiple spouses. Polygamy is illegal in all 50 states, but it’s federally legal, which is why you see it happening.

When you engage in polyamory, you invite all the complications of both polyamorous marriage and polygamist marriage. It’s a complicated love triangle that would make even the citizens of Riverdale blush. Why would you involve yourself in such a sticky, complicated situation if you’re living a minimalist lifestyle?

4. It’s Unhealthy for Children

Minimalism in no way relieves you of the responsibilities of raising your children. If you’re a parent, you need to set a good example for your kids. Being a deadbeat or abusive parent is not minimalism – it’s criminalism. Polyamory can make a child’s life difficult growing up.

There are many questions a child is bound to have about their living arrangements. Polyamory may have been easy enough to hide before the internet, but kids these days have technology. Your ways will be noticed, and your kids’ friends will realize they’re different. Save yourself the trouble.

5. It’s Complicated

Polyamory is the epitome of a complicated Facebook relationship status. You’ll find yourself having to constantly explain it to everyone. That alone is an unnecessary complication in your life.

When you have only one person to deal with, life is much simpler, so consider monagamy, even if it is all just labels. Reading labels isn’t what clashes with minimalism – polyamory does.

So the next time you see some free-loving hippie bragging about how he’s involved with so many women, just laugh. You’re living a much simpler life than he is.


Dr. Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. You can find his work in Cracked, High Times, HuffPost, Lifewire, Forbes, Fast Company, and dozens of other places, although much of it is no longer under his name. Dr. Penny loves annoying fake media.

One thought on “5 Reasons Minimalism and Polyamory Don’t Mix

  • December 6 at 4:13 pm

    Sorry to say, but minimalist person can have a clear simple healthy relationships. I am minimalist and I have been solo polyamorous for last 15 years, and I am extremely thankful to have those great partner(s) that support me and my independence. I do appreciate your thoughts on this and share with others.


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