Finally managing to weed through all the promotional stuff I picked up over the summer, and there’s quite a bit to disseminate. Here are a few of the promotional accessories I was handed, along with a mini-review of how useful I found them.
Qmadix Invisible First Defense Tempered Glass 9H for Apple iPhone 5s ($21.95 on Amazon)
Qmadix’s screen protector has great packaging, but I never saw them actually drop anything with it. What I did see was a giant pile of these screen protectors sitting on a counter on the last day of the event and decided to grab a couple for myself and Twee. My iPhone 5s was the last phone I had before Sprint realized I no longer work at Bank of America and cut off my corporate discount.
Unfortunately I dropped it and shattered the screen, but it did still work as a better gaming device than my prepaid Android until the screen began to die this week. Unfortunately this screen protector never got a chance to be tested (was going to replace the shattered screen with this, but the damage from dropping it on concrete runs much deeper, and it’s bricked for all intents and purposes, so I’m going to open it up soon enough).
I was going to see how much it took to destroy this screen protector, but then I googled the price and gently pieced this package back together for resale. Like any Vegas trip, the goal is to break even, and this should cover half the gas from Phoenix.
Aesthetically Pleasing Woman’s Name (Priceless)
Not actually from CTIA, this screenshot is the available WiFi networks from my Transformer 2-in-1 tablet while I was sitting in on a keynote speech at the Cannabis World Business Conference in the Los Angeles Convention Center. I randomly take these screenshots at events to collect a little scrapbook of sorts.
This particular screenshot I took when a beautiful blonde woman sat next to me, and I found myself spending more time staring at her out the corner of my eye than listening to what was actually a decent speech by Ethan Nadelmann. He showed very little restraint in addressing green rushers in a room full of them, and he got a standing ovation.
I was taking notes and saw the woman pull out her iPhone. I decided on a whim to check the WiFi networks to find out the woman I was ogling and mindfapping to was none other than Autumn Karcey, one of the most intelligent people in the cannabis industry and a prominent member of Women Grow.
Autumn, when this eventually gets around to you, give me a call.
And Wolf, if you see this first – send her my way…
Whoosh! Screen Shine ($9 on Amazon)
Trade shows are filled with booth babes. These are all those models you see dressed up like overly slutty versions of whatever brand mascot they’re promoting. They stand in the walkways of trade shows and break the ice by handing you a brochure or sample. That’s how I ended up with an actually decent Whoosh! screen cleaning kit.
It’s not that it’s necessarily an innovative product – these things are a dime a dozen, but it’s easy to carry, nontoxic, and I’ve already used it a couple times to keep my phone clean after lending it to someone else or using it when my hands weren’t exactly clean.
Most promotional junk I pick up gets tossed or given away at the end of the day, but this screen cleaner I’ll use down to the last drop, not because of the cleaner itself, nor the run-of-the-mill cloth that comes with it or smile on the booth babe, but because of the random cookie recipe hidden inside the packaging. It was a nice touch.
Lunatik Polymer Touch Pen ($11 on Amazon)
Finally we come to the Lunatik Stylus Pen, which I saw by making a random appointment with a PR rep through an email blast. Whenever you attend one of these events (especially trade shows)as a buyer or media, you’ll be buried under PR emails. I glance over them quickly and occasionally respond. Sometimes people respond back.
PR reps have a job to do, and they have to show results at these shows, as do all the salespeople, so it’s a high-stakes, fast-paced, high-pressure sales and marketing environment. At the end of the day all most places care about is some mention of their existence. As they say in the movies – all press is good press.
This stylus pen is just a basic Bic pen with a casing that’s wasting entirely too much plastic. I assumed when I clicked the button again, I’d be presented with a stylus tip. Instead the pen tip was simply gone. So it’s not a stylus pen, it’s just a really cheaply made pen that’s trying to patent the pen as a 2-in-1 pen. In the business, these people are called patent trolls, and everyone hates them.
I personally love trolls, having written The Art of Trolling, but I hate shoddy products that aren’t worth anything. This thing went straight into the trash, but at least I posted a link, right?
Brian Penny is a former operations manager and business analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. He’s a contributor to High Times, Huffington Post, Fast Company, Intuit’s Small Business Resource, Hardcore Droid, and The Street.