I’m Launching My Own Revolutionary Blockchain-less Cryptocurrency

I created my own cryptocurrency – I call it (naturally) the Brian Penny.

The Brian Penny is a crypto that doesn’t run on blockchain technology. It runs on imagination. It’s equivalent to a Schrutte Buck and as valuable as an Itchy and Scratchy Dollar.

The value of the Brian Penny is whatever you’d like to it to be, much like the Forever Rose or CryptoKitty. However, instead of a ridiculous technology spectacle, I’ll just give you a piece of my time in exchange for your fiat currency.

Time, as the richest people in the world know full well, is the most valuable resource we have, and how we spend it. Send me any amount of money via PayPal, and I’ll take the time to email you. This email is how you’ll track your Brian Pennys.

Every Brian Penny will have a self-contained blockchain, in which you’ll see all the unique conversations you’ve had with me. If you want to mine more Brian Penny’s simply reply to the email and ask for a separate email chain.

The beauty of the Brian Penny lies in its simplicity. Because it’s backed only by the power of imagination, each one can be as valuable as you want them to be. And you can sell your Brian Penny to someone just by forwarding it like any other chain email.

Never worry about getting stuck paying exchange fees ever again. This system is proven and much safer than hackable cryptos and fiat currencies. In fact, the chain letter (a precursor to the chain email) predates blockchain technology by several centuries.

Investing in Brian Pennys is simple. Just send me money along with your email address so I can thank you. Whatever you send, I’ll mention in the email response so you have a paper trail should you decide to exchange your Brian Penny with friends or family. I accept all major payment platforms.

You don’t need a complicated crypto wallet or encryption keys. All it takes is a web- or app-based email client like Gmail and Thunderbird. The best part is your investment receives an immediate return, so you don’t have to sweat possible losses like other crypto hodlers deal with.

Brian Pennys differ from penny stocks in that you’re investing in just one person’s email responses, which are guaranteed to be priceless long after trendy cryptos like Bitcoin and Ethereum fade away.

Get started today by emailing azmikversable@gmail.com.


Dr. Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. You can find his work in Cracked, High Times, HuffPost, Lifewire, Forbes, Fast Company, and dozens of other places, although much of it is no longer under his name. Dr. Penny loves annoying fake media.

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