Pipe Smoking, Anonymous Hacking, and Freelance Writing

Dear Brian,
People who smoke tobacco out of pipes often do a charring light and then a regular light. Is this done with cannabis as well?

Charring isn’t done with cannabis because the active ingredient (the THC trichomes) are on the outside of the plant vs nicotine being inside the tobacco. The only time you’d want to char cannabis is when sharing a bowl with someone you don’t like so you can hog all the THC.

In cannabis circles, the preferred hit is the first hit (called “greens”). Whenever you hear someone call greens or offer you greens, they’re giving you the preferred first hit. Every hit after greens is a less optimal hit, as you’ll be smoking resin, ash, and plant matter with lower-than-optimal THC levels.

Whenever you’re offering a hit to someone you admire, offer them greens. As a general rule of chivalry (which is never dead), when smoking with a girl/woman, it’s good manners to always offer them greens.

If you’re offered greens, politely accept the first time, but the second time you should pass the greens on to someone else.

When you hit greens, try not to char the whole bowl by keeping the lighter’s flame to the corner of the bowl opposite the side your thumb is covering the hole on the side. Inhale enough to draw the flame into the bowl to char as little of the weed as possible and cherry it properly while still providing a clean, green smoke to the next person.

Also be sure to wipe the mouthpiece both before and after hitting it for maximum sanitation.

Following this simple dichotomy will protect you from smoking faux pas and ensure you’re not kicked out of the smoke circle or black listed.

Dear Brian,
What should anyone study to be world top hacker like anonymous?

You should start by studying Anonymous and learning the many reasons they’re not world top hackers.

Common tricks used by Anonymous are:

1. DDoS – A Distributed Denial of Service attack is carried out using DDoS programs that are simple scripts designed to continuously send refresh commands to the web server. The programs can refresh tens of thousands of times faster than you can by manually hitting F5.

When a large group of people focus DDoS programs on a single target, it can eventually overload the server and take the site down. The larger the site, the more traffic load it takes to take it down. This is the strategy Anonymous used to take down PayPal. PayPal 14

If you’d like to participate in a DDoS attack, google DDoS programs if you’re a script kiddie, or write a quick loop if you’re familiar with the most basic of programming basics in any language.

Though be aware the PayPal 14 faced harsher penalties than “real” hackers (i.e. computer programmers) to deter these programs from being used by the general public. The reason the term “script kiddie’ is used in hacker circles is because even a child can be taught to push a button and let a computer do its automated thing.

2. SQL Injection – Another popular Anonymous hacker technique is the SQL Injection attack. During a SQL injection, the attacker takes advantage of weaknesses in the backend databases storing information for a website by inserting malicious code into a field that causes the database to malfunction and allow access to the data fields.

This is the type of attack used on Sony repeatedly since 2011 (the first attack being on the PlayStation Network, due to a slow Apache server update): Sony Hacked Again, 1 Million Passwords Exposed?

With a few simple steps, companies can protect themselves from such attacks, though it only takes a slip-up for one second to leave the servers vulnerable.

3. Social Engineering – The majority of “real hacking” is social engineering. There’s no reason to brute-force someone’s password when you can simply convince them to give it to you. Social engineering is what made Kevin Mitnick infamous and the tactic Anonymous used to hack HBGary to reveal a defamation campaign against Wikileaks:Anonymous speaks: the inside story of the HBGary hack

The HBGary hack is what set off the PayPal hack, as PayPal, Visa, and Bank of America colluded to both ruin the reputations of Wikileaks supporters and backers and stop donations to the organization.

4. Skip Tracing – And of course, Anons LOVE skip tracing. Skiptrace

Skip tracing is the process of tracking a debtor or fugitive using a combination of public records requests, Internet social media and WhoIs searches, and intuition. Skip tracing is how anons on social media “d0x” each other, leaking personal information on a site like Pastebin.

Here’s one of many pathetic attempts to d0x me by anons when I spoke out against YourAnonNews for embezzling $55,000 from children: Brian M Penny  33    2228 N Illinois Street  Chandler, Arizona  480-600-9010     – Pastebin.com

None of the information listed on my d0x is accurate, and the attempt is laughable, especially for an experienced, professional skip tracer. Locating the person attempting to attack you is much more important of a skill than actually launching an attack, and nearly every “elite anonymous hacker” involved in the above examples was traced, identified, and caught.

So to answer your question, the trick to becoming a l33t hacker is not ever getting caught, which very very very few “members” of Anonymous have ever accomplished

Dear Brian,
Any advice on how to land my first bid as a content writer on freelancer?

When I first started working as a freelancer, I signed up for freelancer, elance, and all those freelance site. None of them provided any value whatsoever. The pay was terrible, the jobs were terrible, and everything about it was just not what I wanted.

Most of the jobs pay $10 or less for 1000-word posts. Since it takes about two hours to write a quality 1000-word posts, McDonald’s workers made more than me at $5/hr. On top of this, I was creating content for the most terrible sites and had 0 pride in my work. That wasn’t what I became a freelancer for.

I ended up ditching those sites and spending about a year not getting paid and building up my own blog while guest posting on free sites like HuffPost to build traffic.

Where I started finding paying content writing gigs was by scouring craigslist.org,Indeed.com, and Freelance writing resources, jobs, gigs and advice for jobs. That’s where reputable companies look for content writers, bloggers, freelancers, ghostwriters, writers,SEO, etc. (those are the search terms to use). You can check any and every city in the world for these types of jobs and apply for hundreds within a day.

It’s all a numbers game. Send an email to 1000 people, and 1 will eventually hire you. From there you build. I went from making $10 for 1000 words to $100-$250 for 1000 words. The most recent piece I sold was for $800. Not only that, these are from reputable companies that I’m actually proud to be published with.

I’ve never once gotten a decent writing gig from any of those other sites meant to cater to freelancers, so I long ago stopped even recognizing their existence and wouldn’t recommend them to anyone. They’re a waste of my time now as a professional, though I do admit I did use them to start out, so they may have more value than I give them credit for. 

Brian Penny bank of America balboa qbeBrian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. His work has appeared in Huffington Post, High Times, Fast Company, Cannabis Now, Lifehack, and Hardcore Droid.


Dr. Brian Penny is a former Business Analyst and Operations Manager at Bank of America turned whistleblower, troll, and freelance writer. You can find his work in Cracked, High Times, HuffPost, Lifewire, Forbes, Fast Company, and dozens of other places, although much of it is no longer under his name. Dr. Penny loves annoying fake media.

One thought on “Pipe Smoking, Anonymous Hacking, and Freelance Writing

  • April 7 at 11:55 am

    According to the American public health report pipe smoking cause very serious health problems because it uses pure tobacco and other dangerous chemicals.


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