10 signs the Clubhouse app is a cult

In 2020, Paul Davison and Rohan Seth got lucky. They created an app that gained traction in the pandemic (mostly for sex trafficking in the original “Shoot Your Shot”-style rooms).

By 2021, the app blew up and fizzled out all in the same year. Despite removing invites, adding Android, and opening to the public, nobody ever heard of Clubhouse, and nobody is interested.

That’s because Clubhouse is a cult, and these are the 10 signs you should’ve noticed by now.

1. The cult celebrities are nobodies.

People rise up the ranks to become famous in a cult like Scientology. Clubhouse does the exact same thing – just check out the highest followed people on the platform.

Andrew Chen, Nait Jones, Harry Stebbings – who even are these losers?!?!

Anytime you try to introduce your friends to Clubhouse, they’re presented with this list of nobodies that nobody ever heard of, and they judge your poor taste and leave.

2. The entire cult focuses on the “Creator.”

Focus on the cult leader is essential for a cult to work. That’s why Davison loves his position as the top cult leader.

If you want to succeed on Clubhouse, you’ll need to perform like a monkey for the Creator of this Creator First platform.

Just ask any of the people who’s performed in the 24 shows for the cult’s summer camp talent show, called Creator First.

3. There’s a defined inner circle.

As mentioned above, Clubhouse is an elitist platform. It’s designed to benefit the wealthy VCs with millions of followers (see list of nobodies above).

If you’re black – the Creator will select you for the app’s icon. This digital blackface has people thinking Davison is a black man when he’s just an exploitative man child afraid of people dunking on him.

What a loser…but he has his cultist fans.

4. The Creator promises a rocket ship.

Davison promised everybody a path to fame and fortune. If you work hard enough, you’ll one day be a disgraced celebrity like Dane Cook or MC Hammer.

But the problem is, there’s no rocket ship hidden in that barn. The Creator First shows got $15k over 3 months and then were cut off completely.

If you want a rocket ship, ask SpaceX or NASA. If you want fame, talk to Hollywood. Clubhouse is selling a cult dream without the infrastructure to fulfill its promises.

5. The Creator opposes critical thinking.

Have you ever heard a Clubhouse townhall? 

Here’s one to see for yourself – they’re all the same.https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lXDVjGJclks?rel=0&autoplay=0&showinfo=0&enablejsapi=0

Your idiot cult leader is all smiles and giggles when it comes to selling you on his silly cult. He uses his “Leave It to Beaver” sales kid voice to get people excited.

But then he immediately turns into angry Eric Cartman from “South Park” when confronted with user questions.

6. The cult emphasizes doctrines.

PTR, popcorn style – the amount of cult terms and trends you have to learn to join Clubhouse is too damn high.

Clubhouse is designed only to benefit its creators (which Paul repeats every townhall). That means you need to learn to live exactly how they tell you, or you’ll never succeed.

That’s because the cult of Clubhouse revolves around its Creator.

7. The Creator demands loyalty.

Paul Davison thinks he’s a God, and he demands that you perform for him. When he wants news, you better deliver news, even if you’re not a journalist.

Those who worship the cult of Paul are rewarded with support, recognition (only in the cult – never outside), and love. Worshipping Paul comes with the same promises as worshipping Jesus Christ, Muhammad, or Buddha.

8. Members are isolated from family and friends.

You can’t be successful on Clubhouse without isolating yourself. You try to get your inner circle to join, but they see the cult atmosphere and leave.

That leaves so many Clubhouse cultists with strained relations with friends and family. Paul prefers you choose Clubhouse over these non-users.

And if you make the wrong choice, you’re punished.

9. Defectors are harshly penalized. 

Have you ever tried deleting your Clubhouse account? They put everything in your way to stop you – they need your empty shell profile to sell future investors on the platform’s large, successful user base.

If you leave, you will experience heavy gaslighting. For the unfamiliar, gaslighting is when people deny reality to make you look crazy.

Having left the cult myself personally, I can assure you the penalties are harsh. Loyal cultists spread constant lies about me in secret back channels, because they know they would be sued into oblivion for publishing such nonsense in public.

If you leave Clubhouse, you will be brutally punished in secret hidden cult channels too. That’s because of the cult elitist mentality.

10. Cults foster an “us vs them” mentality.

Every cult from Scientology to Clubhouse fosters an “us vs them” mentality that gets dangerous. 

You’re encouraged to fiercely support Clubhouse against the entirety of the world. Nobody understands you except your Creator Paul.

And when you leave, you’re immediately the enemy. 

These are the major signs of any cult – it’s not just Clubhouse. Here are some articles on cults you can read for yourself to see.

Oprah Winfrey on cults: https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a33648485/signs-of-a-cult/

The Atlantic on cults: https://amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/361400/

The Guardian on cults: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2009/may/27/cults-definition-religion

Daily Kos on cults: https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2021/6/25/2037119/-10-Signs-You-re-Probably-In-A-Cult

Banner Health on gaslighting: https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/teach-me/signs-you-might-be-a-victim-of-gaslighting

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